Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
