can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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