is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
