soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
