who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
