loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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