How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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