you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
