I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
