I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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