Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
