No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
