false alarm. still invincible.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I think your dad took our porno
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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