Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
