screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
