ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
