Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
