Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
