I heard we made out
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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