He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
