That's intense
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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