billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
