never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
