so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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