your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He? As in you personified your dick?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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