Can Purell be used as lube?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
