You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I bet he comes in French.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
