normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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