sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
