Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
