My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
