im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
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