my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
