The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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