that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
