Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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