he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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