my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
