Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
