Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
