I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
