people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
