Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
This house was built for laser tag.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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