Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
