He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
