If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
