I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
