Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I currently don't understand fingers.
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