with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
