Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
