He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
