I seem to have left my pride at pride
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
All I want is dick and wine.
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