Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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