does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
